What NOT to talk about at Christmas
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Research indicates that nearly one in five Brits dread seasonal social gatherings due to unresolved tensions or misunderstandings.
With the festive season in full swing, some thrive in the buzz of parties, gatherings, and the swarming hordes of ‘Gift Shoppers,’ while others feel completely overwhelmed, drowning in it all. Healf asks: is there a way out? And what is the right manner to discuss our annual pent-up angst and frustration, if any?
Emotions and etiquette at the table
If Christmas dinner ever feels like a battleground waiting to erupt, you’re definitely not alone. Tenuous topics like politics, religion, or even harmless family gossip can ignite endless tensions.
According to experts , gently steering conversations toward neutral ground, think childhood memories, travel plans, or even the best TV shows of the year could keep the peace and the dinnertime etiquette intact.
But, if any conflict inevitably does arise, it may also be beneficial not to engage. If it feels right to protect your energy and ease a tense atmosphere, you can work to redirect the conversation with a sense of light-heartedness or ask open-ended questions to change the focus.
Pre-dinner nerves
And if, no matter what you try, the stress is still getting to you, remember the importance of owning your space. Creating a calming pre-dinner environment using the Self Care Co. Amber Glass Candle: Lavender + Orange can be a simple yet effective way to help set the tone for a peaceful day and evening.
Why the “most magical time” might feel heavy
Other than our differences, it is also our collective experiences that bring seasonal challenges.
The “joy/grief lasagne” of Christmas, as coined by The Times , is a wonderfully descriptive phrase summing up the bittersweet reality many of us face every year.
Discovering peace
And yet, acknowledging these emotions, rather than suppressing them, can be the first step toward growth — a way to embrace the wholesome and childlike wonder once more. It is, for some, by no means a simple and easy process. But it is a journey worth taking to find peace and treating the season as a time for comfort and solace; moving into the year ahead of us with clarity.
How to dodge the spiral of social burnout
It’s easy to feel swept up in the flood of invitations ‘Friendsmasses,’ work parties, and endless family engagements. But there’s no rule saying you must accept every invite. Saying “no” without guilt is perhaps an art worth mastering.
Here’s why: Being mindful of what energy you can bring to the social situations you have planned and taking some time to figure out how you can look within to find answers may just be the pause you need.
Psychologists agree
Pacing your social calendar and sussing things out in some solo moments are just as important as showing up for others we are close to. Even a 20-minute walk between commitments can reset your mind and boost your mood.
Tools like the Sensate Relaxation Device can further assist in letting you decompress during stressful moments, using sound and vibrations to calm your nervous system.
7 ways to preserve presence
Pre-plan your priorities – Decide which events you might need more mental preparation for, and which might not be the best for you this time around.
Create a tech-free zone – Enjoy uninterrupted connection by banning devices during meals.
Share responsibilities – Whether cooking or cleaning, divide tasks to reduce pressure.
Avoid the comparison trap – Social media often amplifies feelings of inadequacy. We suggest you try logging off when it feels too much.
Practise gratitude – Focus on small joys, like a kind gesture or a hearty laugh. Tools like the Notes to Mindfulness Journal can help maintain this habit.
Listen to your body – Schedule downtime to recharge, whether through a nap or a quiet cup of tea away from the chaos.
Resting and reaching out for help – There is no shame in this. If loneliness or stress becomes overwhelming, seek support from friends, family, or services providing guidance for mental health.
Pairing all of this with the Healf Mindful Bundle can optimise your rest and restore balance, acting on all aspects of your wellbeing.
Reclaiming the season for yourself
Some may say that Christmas isn’t about perfection, it’s simply about presence.
Embracing those things that have always irked you, speaking up for your needs, and remembering to slow down can make the season far more beneficial for your mental wellbeing.
You could also do activities like taking five minutes to meditate, curling up with a book, or simply enjoying the crackle of a fire. Such little moments of stillness are gifts in themselves.
The takeaways
The usual advice: “dodge tough conversations, book a different hotel, keep it light”, might get you through the celebrations, but, ultimately, it might not create any helpful changes and feelings around the time you have spent. In other words, surface solutions don’t fix what’s lingering underneath, and perhaps perpetuate the cycle into next year’s festivities.
Instead, let the messiness of life happen. Share the meal, the walk, the silence, even if it feels uncomfortable in its imperfection. Relationships rarely deepen by keeping people at arm’s length and, in this way, the events of the season can be a chance to lean in, to let time together soften the edges, to see where connection might grow and where peace prevails.
Shop MIND at Healf and explore fresh, practical ways to embrace stillness and presence.
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This article is for informational purposes only, even if and regardless of whether it features the advice of physicians and medical practitioners. This article is not, nor is it intended to be, a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment and should never be relied upon for specific medical advice. The views expressed in this article are the views of the expert and do not necessarily represent the views of Healf
References used
The Times. The “joy/grief lasagne” of Christmas explained. The Times website. https://www.thetimes.co.uk/article/the-times-view-on-christmas-gifts-game-on-ss0vn0s6t Accessed December 10, 2024.
American Psychological Association. Even a joyous holiday season can cause stress for most Americans. APA website. https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2023/11/holiday-season-stress . Accessed December 10, 2024.
Psychology Today. The myth of the perfect family gathering. Psychology Today website. https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/the-last-best-cure/202412/the-myth-of-the-perfect-family-gathering . Accessed December 10, 2024.
Neuroscience News. Holiday stress: Embracing unpleasant emotions for better health. Neuroscience News website. https://neurosciencenews.com/holiday-stress-health-emotions-2023/ Accessed December 10, 2024.
